You don't really have to read this

I hate pride and obstinance. But mostly in myself.

I really make no sense at night. My mind's tired when I climb into bed with my laptop. But my thoughts become more visible, more obtrusive without the distractions of the daytime to pull me into the humdum atmosphere that is the everyday.

Moving into the body paragraph -- I am now officially hooked on Fountainhead. Initially I thought it was a pompous book meant for pompous people to feel intellectual, and maybe it still is and maybe I'm just buying into it (and it's funny because the book itself talks about this superficiality of man). It's like a metanarrative. Maybe not. Either way, It's got me thinking about morals -- you know, the right and the wrong, the good and the bad, the virtues and the vices. While the dichotomy of mankind into let's say, good and evil can be considered a fairly objective, straightcut, black and white subject, I began to wonder whether we can be so sure. I tried simply to come up with the most virtuous person I could think of and wondered what characteristics this person has: alright -- honesty, integrity, compassion, etc. Alright and likewise for the most detestable person -- dishonesty, malice, contempt, etc. But when I think of real people, it's never that easy. When I think of myself, it isn't that easy either. What brought about these mostly was because I wanted to become (yes, cliche) the best person that I could possibly be, which stems from ideas not expressed directly in the book, however are subjects that are inherent to the questions the book raises. For the most part, I think of myself as a good person. I'm nice and polite to mostly everyone. I don't deliberately discriminate or judge people that I am conscious of (C'mon, we are all guilty of some prejudice however slight or unnoticeable as it may be). However, I feel that most of the time, the reasons I act a certain way are not based on the principles of honesty or integrity or compassion, but rather for more superficial reasons like avoiding confrontation or making social interaction easier. So should I consider the aforementioned principles as the basis for my actions? Is that really the way to be morally upright? I was going to argue against the existence of morals, but that would sound rather nihilistic of me, and I've also gotten too tired since I started this to really consider that possibility. Rather I'll raise the question of whether morals are the only basis by which mankind can stand by or whether there is no guideline by which we can truly grade a person as being morally superior or more good than another. Or if you are religious, if the commandments or other religious code can be the only true indicator of a person's standing in this world.

Or you are more than welcome to just tell me to stop staying up posting blogs about things that don't really matter.