New year

As 2008 fast approaches, as is traditional I want to view the new year with a new outlook. Although it's a task that has been futile thus far, accomplishing new year's resolutions seem like something to try anyways. Here I go.

1. No more smoking
2. Learn not for the sake of getting good grades, but for the sake of acquiring knowledge
3. Count my blessings everyday -- even the little things

That's what I've got so far. Simple but I think I need to keep things simple so I can actually focus on them.

And who needs to wait until the first to start counting your blessings?

Today:
- Being able to go with my family to Panda Express and eat plates full of Orange Chicken and Chicken with String Beans
- Being able to go to Target and shop
- Taking a glorious nap and shower, putting on a new top and feeling refreshed
- Being able to go outside and see the pansies my dad put in the backyard
- Going to play video games with my brother

I am feeling really satisfied about everything. Admittedly Finals week is not the most fun of all time; however, it seems that school and non-school things are, for the most part, going really well!

I just finished writing my paper. I feel like it's my best one from this entire year in World Lit. We turn it in on Friday when we go to Professor Doherty's house. We're making mix CDs and exchanging them. And Doherty is going to cook lasagna and serve wine. I got my Philosophy paper back today and I got a 98! So I only have to get a 92 on the final exam to get an A. My exam for Uses and Abuses of the Bible is tomorrow, but I'm feeling pretty confident about it. I have yet to study for Computing or Calculus, but those are not until Saturday so I might call it a night tonight. The past two nights I've gone to sleep at six because I've been studying, but I want to get some rest so my mind is fresh and awake when I take my exam.

Things are looking up!

For the first time

I feel like things are moving at a steady pace

Playing hooky

I made a paper sloth for Peter's christmas tree.
(there's a baby sloth hugging the mama sloth)

Fuck!

I was bidding on some tall suede boots on ebay. 53 minutes were left. I was set. I left for class. I come back and some bitch outbid in the last few minutes. ARGH!

In other news. I take strange pictures in the bathroom.

Trying to stay on top of things

I don't exactly remember why I sketched this.

July 14 2007

I was reading through old posts on other blog and came across this gem --

Title: Dire
Body:
I am so scared for the future. Nothing's for certain anymore.

I hate how I can judge someone, when I am no better. Why do I care? What does it matter? Why do I have to be so condescending sometimes? I know no better. Why are we in such a rush to get older? Can't we just slow down and take everything in?

I have no will, no willpower. I know not of strong principles. I have no unwavering morals. I stil do believe that essentially I am a good person. My arms feel weak, but now I am uncertain whether it's my arms or my insides.

All of the time I pretend. I pretend I'm self confident. I pretend I'm experienced. I pretend I know what I am doing. I pretend that I'm intelligent. I pretend I'm special. I pretend that I can't get hurt. I pretend that I don't care. What's worse is that I'm not only pretending to others, I'm also pretending to myself. I get small glimpses of these self-observations then I quickly pretend to not notice. Always pretending. Who am I really? How can I separate the real me from what I'm pretending to be?

Invincible.

That is what we feel like all the time. That might sound empowering, but what I mean is that we feel like we are not in danger of certain things. Some things just don't seem probable, because it's us. It's me. Think about all the times someone has said, "I never thought it would happen to me." Of course you didn't. Everything that we hear seems so separate from us. All other people's experiences seem unrelated to our own. It's weird when you realize that it's not true.

Ambivalent weather gods, ambivalent Kristine.

Hello everyone! Sitting at the FAC as per usual. I finished writing my paper about whether idealists can distinguish real from nominal essences and read my packet titled "Was Jesus Insane?" Now I'm sitting here, not wanting to go outside, because I know it's going to be windy and chilly -- Screw the ambivalent weather gods! Eighty degrees! In December! Absurd.

Today I watched a play with Mia. It was a children's play called Lily Plants a Garden -- but it was one of those that are a bit darker. Had a late start to the day because we didn't get to sleep until 5:30, having tried to watch Lolita with Monica, Jordan, and Tiffany and only succeeding in acquiring a TV DVD player at two. We watched Kids today and ate Papa John's. That movie was depressing, and at some points, depressingly realistic. Essentially the premise is the girl gets HIV from this guy who is on this cherry popping spree.

I suppose that was the bulk of my day/weekend. It was kind of a quiet relaxing yet restless weekend. I think I need a different word than restless -- I feel like I use it far too often.

I think I'll go brave the cold now and walk home so I can go to bed.