Reevaluation.

Having come to college (and this may sound just silly seeing as I've only been here for what two weeks now?), I may be feeling the change in myself that I had been looking for previously. And it isn't that I've changed really. My personality hasn't changed. My interests haven't changed. But I've been reading this book for class -- Intro to Chemical Engineering of all things. It's called The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Understandably the title kind of gives off the impression that it is a cheesy book full of "Be more assertive" or perhaps "Plan your time effectively" kind of bullshit. Instead it takes a different approach that I actually find myself wanting to actually pursue.

Essentially, the book begins by establishing the problem with society and the problem with our attitudes or perceptions of the world. It's hard to explain altogether, because it takes from all parts of our lives and breaks it down to the essential principles that we should stand by as opposed to the quick fix methods of going about our lives. It reverts back to the methods as broken down by Benjamin Franklin back in the day. It's funny because as time has progressed and technology has progressed, we always want the fast way out and all of the social help books on personality ethics are based on this as well. Think about when you go to school and you read the chapter the night before the test, because you just want to get by. You're not doing it for the pursuit of knowledge, but rather you are wanting a quick way out. I'm guilty of it most definitely. In fact, I don't think I learned a single thing my senior year of high school. I think I've learned more these past two weeks than I did during the entirety of last year. It's so hard to break down exactly what the book is helping you do. But in simple terms, it teaches you how to lead a more fulfilling life. And I think that's the most important thing that I could learn, that anyone can learn.

I know all of this sounds cheesy, but I definitely feel a bit of a paradigm shift in my mindset. It's as though the alignment of reality and my perception of reality wasn't quite in alignment, but I'm starting to feel like it's almost coming into place. It's like when I didn't have glasses, I thought my vision was just fine. I could get by. I didn't think there could be much more that could be done. After I got glasses, I realized everything that I had been missing out on. Everything clarified -- the blurriness became crisp strong lines.

But even as I say this now, I feel that I'm still not at the peak of what I can perceive. Maybe I think everything is clear, but really it's just slightly less blurry. I think that's what growing older is about. Reevaluating, adjusting, and admitting that you don't know everything, that there's potential for improvement.