Here I go.

I keep waking up in my bed and just lying there for a while thinking about the rather large change that is coming my way. But no matter how long I lie there, I'm still unable to grasp it. I suppose it's because it's unfamiliar territory -- something unprecedented in my life so I don't have anything tangible in my mind to work with that I can react to.

So instead in my head, there are only the words: "I'm leaving for college." Just words in my head. Nothing more. No emotion attached, no despair, nothing. Because aren't they just words?

But there's something going on in the back of my head, trying to remind me that they aren't just words, and I just keep pushing it back to the back of my head, because I'm not ready to admit anything yet.